Starting with volume 2.
Chapter Title: Studio Ghibli Movies
Narration: Those who fight with monsters should look to it that they themselves do not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
[TL Note: “If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.” There are several versions of this fairly famous quotation. I pulled this one from wikiquote.]
Narration: ~”Beyond Good and Evil” Friedrich Nietsche (1844-1900)~
Machiko: Wh…what? What’s up with everyone?
Machiko: Did I say something weird…?
Kudou: I mean, chief Kine, are you serious…?
Kudou: When you say you’ve never seen a Ghibli movie?
Chapter 7: Studio Ghibli Movies
[TL Note: These two are a full-page spread, so I’m going to list the spoken words first, then the sound effects.]
Bartender: Hello, welcome-!
Bartender: Here you are, one hot sake!
Bartender: M, my apologies.
Patron: I’m telling you, the boss said-
[TL Note: From here on out it’s SFX, ordered from right to left position]
FX: Door sliding
Sign: Izakaya Yuu
[Alt I: Pub Yuu]
Machiko: Why did it turn out like this…?
Machiko: I hadn’t been keeping up with all the drunk socializing going on lately,
Machiko: and I can’t turn down my cute subordinates every time they ask,
Machiko: so I loaded up my wallet with Yukichis and geared up for my first drinking party in a while.
[TL Note: Fukuzawa Yukichi was the founder of Keio University, among other things. He’s pictured on the 10,000 yen note. An equivalent expression in the US would be Benjamins.]
Machiko: Ghibli movies came up in the flow of the conversation, and I was casually asked,
Machiko: “Chief Kine, which Ghibli movie do you like the most?”
Machiko: and so, I answered thusly:
Machiko: “Sorry, I’ve never seen a single Ghibli movie before.”
Machiko: Here we are.
Machiko: From my experience living under false pretenses since those middle school dark ages,
Machiko: I’ve judged that it’s better to pretend to be someone who “doesn’t watch movies at all”
Machiko: rather than let my true nature spill out in casual conversation.
Kudou: Eh~~? You haven’t seen Frozen _or_ Harry Potter~!?
Machiko: That said, there’s not really a need to lie in this case.
Machiko: That’s right, regardless of my facade or anything, I really just
Machiko: have never watched a Ghibli movie.
Machiko: So saying this should put an end to things…
Machiko: Sorry. I just don’t really watch movies…
Subordinates: No, no, no, no, no.
Female/Tousled Subordinate: You would watch them!
Kudou: Normally, even people who don’t watch movies will watch Ghibli flicks!
Female/Straight Subordinate: Every Japanese person watched them!
Male/Glasses Subordinate: Did you not have a TV at home!?
Male/Blonde Subordinate: Was it for religious reasons!?
Male/Crew Subordinated: Were you forbidden by your physician!?
Machiko: Going a bit far with the rhetoric here, aren’t we!!?
Kudou: They show them on TV all the time…
Machiko: Yep, I know.
F/T Sub: Could it be you hate anime…?
Machiko: I just don’t really watch it.
M/B Sub: Did you resent how much power famous directors wield…?
[Alt I: Did you resent the directors for being so famous…?]
[TL Note: This line was difficult, both because the original text is wordy and the follow-up restricts the number of possible approaches.]
Machiko: I’m well past puberty.
Subs: Then why is it!?
Machiko: Why, you ask…
Machiko: Is it really? Is it really that weird? The reason I don’t watch Ghibli movies.
Machiko: That is to say…
Machiko: I don’t have any reason in particular~…
[Alt I: There isn’t really any special reason~…]
Machiko: Movie buffs are expected to have seen every famous movie in the world.
Machiko: And if you haven’t seen one of them, they’re like,
Narration: “Eh? You haven’t seen that masterwork?”
Machiko: …and, suddenly,
Machiko: you’re attacked as someone with _”no right to be a fan!”_
Rube #1: Gyah-
Mob: He says he’s never seen anything by Kurosawa or Hitchcock-!!
Rube #2: Yah-
Mob: You don’t get to talk about zombies if you haven’t seen anything by Romero or Fulci!
[TL Note: George A. Romero and Lucio Fulci are both famous directors of zombie films.]
Mob: There’s a girl over there running a movie blog despite having zero experience with Ghibli-!!
Machiko: It’s not that I hate them, I just never got in the mood to watch…
Machiko: Of course, if I were going to marathon a bunch of shitty zombie movies,
Machiko: I get that I might as well have watched a Ghibli movie or two.
Machiko: But I’m just more drawn to zombies than I am to Ghibli!
Machiko: Are we cinephiles because we watch materpieces?
Machiko: We’re cinephiles because we watch whatever we damn well please!!
Machiko: normally I would have hit someone by now, but I’m concealing my true nature.
Machiko: And besides, they don’t mean wrong.
Machiko: Aah… They’re looking at me like they would at a Galapagos giant tortise…
[TL Note: The original text specifically references the Galapagos giant tortise.]
Kudou: How sad…
F/T Sub: Why hasn’t she seen them?
M/G Sub: Hey, why?
M/B Sub: How mysterious…
[TL Note: The interjections in this panel are deep background pasted from a panel in c6, so I’m skipping them.]
Machiko: I’ve got to change the topic, or else…
Machiko: it’s back to _the dark ages_ for me!!
Kudou: Everyone, cut it out!!
Kudou: Can’t you see she’s flustered? She can’t help that she’s never seen any!
Machiko: Oh my, Kudou-chan, you’re so cool…
FX: Straight in the heart
Kudou: So, chief!
Kudou: Let’s all go to a karaoke place after this,
Kudou: and watch a Ghibli movie in one of their screening rooms!!
Machiko: I. Am. Machiko. A. Movie. Watching. Machine.
[TL Note: Machiko briefly begins speaking in katakana instead of katakana here, a textual accompaniment to the visuals’ marking her response as a bit robotic.]
Machiko: I. Want. To. Talk. Movies. With. People.
Machiko: But. As. For. Watching. A. Movie. For. The. First. Time. _With._ People. Crazy. About. It.
Machiko: No. Way!!
FX: Kyah (x3)
Machiko: It’s not as if I’ve ever done so!!
Machiko: And these youngsters no doubt believe
Machiko: that anything that’s interesting to them should likewise entertain their boss.
FX: Sparkle (x2)
Machiko: And they’ll be opinion yakuza who won’t take “boring” for an answer.
F/S Sub: The chief said Ghibli was boring-
Kudou: Because she’s old, right-
F/T Sub: Oh, because she’s old
Machiko: Answer anything but “interesting” and all you’ll get is death.
Narration: Has zero faith in her subordinates’ humanity.
Machiko: I give up! I’m activating my emergency escape plan!!
Narration: Emergency escape plan
Phone: Satou, save me! Call me right away and act like it’s for work. Get me out of here!!
Phone: 22:14 Hitori de Cinema
Phone: What’s wrong?
Phone: Satou 22:15
Phone: I said I had never seen a Ghibli movie in the corner pub near the office, and now it’s a bloodbath.
Machiko: Huh? There’s no reply?
Subordinates: Cheif- (x2)
Machiko: Satou-san? Satou-saaaaaaaaaan!?
Narration: -5 minutes later
Subordinates: Wh, what’s with her? She came in so suddenly.
FX: Whisper (x3)
Subordinates: Isn’t she with the General Affairs department…?
Subordinates: Was her name Mizuki-san?
Machiko: Ev, everyone, this is our colleague…
Satou: It’s a pleasure. I’m _Satou_.
Machiko: Was there something with work? There was, right?
Machiko: Why did you come in person instead of calling! Hurry up and sweep me away!!
[Alt I: Why did you come in person instead of calling! Hurry up and sweep me off my feet!!]
[Alt II: Why did you come in person instead of calling! Hurry up and get me outta here!!]
Satou: Nope, nothing.
Satou: It’s very sudden, but there’s something I absolutely had to ask everyone.
FX: Whisper (x3)
Subordinates: What is it…
Subordinates: It really is sudden.
Satou: Are you all familiar with Back to the Future?
M/B Sub: Nope.
Kudou: Is that an old movie?
F/S Sub: I’ve heard the title…
M/G Sub: I might have seen it once… Or not.
M/C Sub: I don’t really watch movies…
F/T Sub: Is it interesting?
Machiko: And my own youngunsssss.
Machiko: Is this because of the flying cross chop? Didn’t we make up afterwards!?
Machiko: Are you planning on spilling the beans about me? About us!?
Satou: I won’t. I don’t want to talk about my divorce, anyways.
Satou: I just thought that you said an awful lot to me for someone who’s never seen a Ghibli movie.
Machiko: D… do you like Ghibli movies?
Satou: Is there a living soul out there who hates them?
Satou: Sorry for being abrupt. In the past, _an acquaintance and I_
Satou: got into a bit of a kerfuffle over whether more people had seen Back to the Future or Ghibli movies.
F/T Sub: Eh- what’s with that?
M/B Sub: It’s obviously Ghibli.
F/S Sub: Ghibli
Kudou: But surprisingly- Chief Kine hasn’t seen any- <musical note>
[Alt I: By the way, and this is surprising, but Chief Kine hasn’t seen either- <musical note>]
[TL Note: The meaning of this line changes heavily depending on whether it’s Kudou or Satou saying it. I’m 80% sure it’s Kudou, though (she calls Kine the section chief).]
Satou: Right, yeah? If Ghibli were a food, it’d be rice.
Satou: _And without rice, you can’t make curry._
Subordinates: What’s with that?
Subordinates: Satou-san, you’re entertaining!
Machiko: Oh, you’re good.
Machiko: Hey, Satou. We were just now discussing seeing a Ghibli movie together,
Machiko: and they said it was okay for me to pick the movie, so,
Machiko: I’d like to watch Tales of Earthsea.
Machiko: Is that a no?
Kudou: Well, it’s not a no…
M/B Sub: I, I don’t hate it…
Machiko: Ku, ku, ku. I may not have experienced any of them, but the internet’s given me a rough picture of which ones have the biggest flaws.
Machiko: Now, let’s get this party started!!
Satou: Then what’s your number 2?
Machiko: My Neighbors the Yamadas
Satou: Number 3.
Machiko: Kuh! Why aren’t you all stopping this woman? Weren’t you going to let me…
Machiko: It’s different!
Machiko: I see, those eyes…
FX: Peek (x5)
Machiko: From the beginning, I had no choice.
Machiko: They were all waiting for me to say this:
Machiko: Which Ghibli movie is interesting?
Machiko: Like so!
Machiko: That particular fanatical type of person always wants a conversation
Long Client: …
Grey Client: …
Machiko: to proceed in the direction which appeals most _to them._
[TL Note: Copypasted from chapter 4, page 92, panel 4.]
Machiko: For me, who normally hates giving recommendations to people who normally don’t watch movies,
Machiko: to be getting recommendations from people who normally don’t watch movies,
Machiko: that’s some real scary-ass karma.
[Alt I: karma can’t be accused of messing around. (in this case the “For me,” in the first box works better as “With me,”]
Machiko: And I can already see tragedy unfolding on an even more epic scale
Subordinates: My recommendation is the best!
Subordinates: Cheif, watch my recommendation!
Subordinates: Listen to my recommendation!
FX: Doom (x4)
Machiko: if I ask for their recommendations here.
Machiko: If anyone gets a word of recommendation out, the “me toos” will sound out like a great chorus.
Machiko: I can’t allow the gates of hell to be thrust open here!!
Waiter: If you’re talking Ghibli, it’s gotta be Castle in the Sky, yo. I rec it, for sure.
[TL Note: The waiter has a verbal tic, ending sentences with -su and a slurred “syo”. I sub in “yo”.]
Waiter: Ah, I’ll take the clean plates for ya, yo.
Satou: Laputa is good, too, but I recommend-
Narration: And thus the gates of hell were thrust open…
Narration: -5 minutes later-
M/B Sub: Women do tend to like Kiki’s Delivery Service, I guess-
F/S Sub: That’s gender discrimination!
[TL Note: Original text reads “sexual harassment” but it feels a bit awkward carried over literally.]
F/T Sub: You say that, but you’re pushing Porco Rosso, no?
F/T Sub: All the men seem to like Fio-chan,
F/T Sub: you lolicon!
M/B Sub: I, I, I’m not a lolicon!
M/C Sub: That’s right! Princess Clarisse is Ghibli’s #1 heroine!!
[TL Note: Clarisse is the lead heroine in Castle of Cagliostro.]
F/T Sub: Real lolicons should stay quiet!!
M/G Sub: Why nothing but Miyazaki flicks!? You say Ghibli, I think Takahata Isao! I’d go with Only Yesterday.
Kudou: Are you telling the chief to go soul-searching in the countryside because she’s single!?
M/G Sub: I did no such thing! Apologize to the cheif!!
Kudou: Silence, brat!!
M/G Sub: My eyes~!!
Kudou: I recommend My Neighbor Totoro, of course!
M/B Sub: I guess kids really do like Totoro-
M/B Sub: My eyes~!!
Satou: I want to watch Whisper of the Heart.
Subordinates: No sneaking ahead!!
Old Man: I’m from the next room over, and you’re loud! Think a little about the trouble you’re causing the other patrons!
Machiko: I, I’m sorry. I’ll stop them soon.
Old Man: By the by, I recommend Grave of the Fireflies!!
Machiko: Old man!
Waiter: Gotta go with Laputa, yo.
Machiko: Do your frickin’ job!!
[Alt I: You get back to work!!]
Machiko: What an ugly sight…
Machiko: Is that what I looked like…?
Machiko: Is that what I looked like, with my ass too tight to accept the opinions of others…?
[TL Note: The “ass too tight” is direct “ketsu no ana no semasa” from the original dialogue.]
Machiko: Nothing but _those words_
Machiko: will put an end to this hell.
Machiko: But those words will bring ruin to me.
Machiko: It’s a phrase I swore to never use again.
Machiko: Ah- I don’t want to say them!
Machiko: It’ll shave away my soul!
Machiko: But I have to say them, don’t I-!!?
Machiko: To each their own, right?
Machiko: And so their voices were silenced…
Machiko: The fact that everyone appeared equally embarrassed about their actions,
Machiko: but also looked equally like they had something persistently stuck between their teeth,
Machiko: and wouldn’t feel satisfied until they got the last word somehow, left a deep impression on me.
Machiko: In the end, were those words of salvation,
FX: Clink (x3)
Sign: Izakaya Yuu
[Alt I: Pub Yuu]
Machiko: or were they, after all, words of ruin?
Machiko: I’m beat… Good thing today’s an off day…
Machiko: Satou, home is that way.
Satou: The video store is that way.
Satou: We’ve got to borrow a Ghibli movie.
Machiko: Just so you know, I won’t be watching.
Satou: Why!? Don’t tell me you weren’t a little bit interested after all that?
Satou: Is it because you’re sexually stunted!? Because you’re one of the apathy generation?
[TL Note: This line is almost identical to one in c6 p133 panel 2, the only difference being the Japanese sentences end with -nano instead of -ka. It didn’t scan as big enough of a difference to warrant a change in wording.]
Machiko: Eh-? I mean, when it comes to what movies people want to watch,
Machiko: To each their own, right?
Narration: Those who read Hitori de Cinema should look to it that they themselves do not become a monster. And if you gaze long into Kine, Kine also gazes into you.
Narration: “Kine-san no Hitori de Cinema” Asai (1978-)
Chapter 7: Afterward
[TL Note: The text in the post-chapter pages changes to what was used in the v1 end-of-volume extras. Hence, “”
Satou: Kine! They’re showing Castle in the Sky on TV today!
Satou: Let’s watch it! Let’s definitely watch it!!
Subordinates: Chief! They’re showing Castle in the Sky on TV today!
Subordinates: Watch it! Definitely watch it!
Machiko: Sigh-… Is the whole day going to be like this…?
Sign: Gyudon Restaurant
Waiter: Ah, miss. They’re showing Laputa on TV today, yo. I rec it.
Waiter: I work here part time, yo.
Narration: She went to a different movie theater than usual that night.